Monday, September 20, 2010

The infertility clinic waiting room

What a phenomenon that is, the ol' clinic waiting room. A funeral face is required and eye contact is strictly prohibited. If you must speak to your husband (and you may only speak to him if you absolutely have to), you must do it in hushed tones, gaze averted, and a hand over your mouth would really be best. No talking is allowed, otherwise. Enter Augusta, Mr. August and Sattva (from Bodhisattva, aka our donor), an unusual constellation for the fertility clinic waiting room. Oh wait! They're breaking all the rules. They are chatting lightly about New Zealand. They are laughing. They are looking directly at each other!!! Chaos ensues.


I'm sorry that the update from Friday did not come sooner. The weekend was filled with social events, which tend to tucker me out. Each chance I got, I sat on the couch, drank warm fluids and read the Globe and Mail, before having to go back out into the world and socialize. But I've been thinking of all of you very much. I look forward to catching up on all your news. Here's the report from our appointment on Friday.

I continued to work myself up for the appointment, although that being said, I was managing my nerves pretty well with a great game plan my therapist and I devised. I once again found myself calling on all of you. I had remembered that the night before, thinking that you would be there with me and I could draw on that for strength. As soon as we reached the floor of the clinic in the hospital, it was like you were all waiting for me when the elevator doors opened. Thanks women!

We picked up Sattva at 6:30am and drove to IF-treatment-town for our 8:30 am appointment. Sattva had to do all this paper work when we got there, but we still managed to shake up the waiting room, as per my introduction. I was called first for my sonohysterogram. I didn't like it one bit. It hurt pretty intensely, although it subsided after a little bit, even while the saline was still in there. Dr. RE said that my uterus looked good, except for a curve at the top. He said that if I had a history of miscarriages he would want to do a hysteroscopy or laparoscopy to check things out further and possibly work on that curve. However, since I don't have such a history (and with no eggs, how could I?), he doesn't feel it is curved enough to warrant that kind of intervention. I'm inclined to concur with him on that one. We agreed that surgery was not the way to go, and that we would go with the higher probability that this curve will not impact negatively on a potential pregnancy.

The three of us were then invited to sit in an exam room and wait for the doc. Sattva immediately commented on the waiting room experience. In a way, it was nice to share this whole fertility clinic scene with a good friend. She now knows what it feels like to be there without my need to describe it for her. It was also at that moment in the exam room that this all became very real. I just took in the fact that all three of us were sitting there and working towards the egg donation. The doctor came in with a student and thanked Sattva for being here. He went through her history and her family's history, and then reviewed Mr. August's family history. He gave her requisitions for blood work, some to completed that day, and another one for cycle day 3. And then she was brought in for an ultrasound and we went back to the waiting room, where we continued to break the rules by talking and looking at each other.

She came out and we left, heading downtown IF-treatment-town for her blood work. On the way down, she said that her ovaries were full of follicles and that Dr. RE thought that was very good. That was very good news to absorb. Plenty of follicles. Wow!

I am still so awed that she wants to do go through this egg donation process and wants us to use her eggs to bring a child into the world. I cannot find the right words to describe my gratitude. We gave her a little card and a bottle of wine from our trip last weekend as a token of our thanks. But really, how can we thank her? I feel so grateful to her for even just considering the egg donation, let alone starting the process.

I have more to write, but my dissertation awaits. Thanks for reading and for being here with me.



  1. Good luck as you enter into your DE cycle!! I too am a DE patient.

  2. Been thinking of you lots. Thanks so much for the update.

    Lots of love,

  3. So encouraged by this report! Sending you immense love as this incredible journey gets are one brave woman!!!

  4. What an amazing person Sattva is, just amazing. Happy to hear things look great so far!

  5. Oh my Gawd do I hate the re waiting room. It makes me feel sick to my stomach, really! The carpet there even makes me dizzy.

    It sounds like the appt went really well! and you didn't write about any tears, so I can only assume that you made it thru with dry eyes :) I've yet to achieve that level of strength at the RE.

    We've been super busy too, mostly with work, but I would love some time to be able to sit and write more.

    I've also been wanting to thank you again for the rumi poem you left me a few weeks ago. I love love love his work, but hadn't seen (or maybe just don't remember) that piece. I've visited that comment a hundred times and really want you to know how perfect it was (and is) and how grateful I am to you for sharing it with me (a hundred times over!)

    Wishing you a beautiful day.
    love - foxy

  6. Whenever my hubby would accompany me to the RE we were always a bit too loud. We would laugh the whole time--analyzing different decor, opening the drawers in the exam rooms, etc.
    But alone, yes, the waiting room is quite a somber place. Glad you could have a good experience.

    I completely agree with the gift giving. I feel the same way. What type of gift do I give to our birthparents? No tangible gift will ever be adequate.

  7. The appointment sounded great, and what an amazing gift Sattva is giving you. I'm sure she feels really lucky to be able to help you this way, its a special gift to give.

    And as for the waiting room antics - Its ridiculous isn't it? I've tried to make eye contact and smile at others who are waiting and they are all non responsive. Its crazy, I mean we are all there for the same depressing reason.

  8. Sattva sounds like a wonderful human being! What an amazing gift :) And lots of follies is great news!! I can't wait to read more about this journey!

    I know exactly what you mean when you talk about the waiting room - my husband and I often break the rules too so you're not alone!

  9. Way to break the waiting-room rules! And hooray for Sartva and all those follies. You're on your way!!! :)

  10. I LOVE the idea of you shaking things up in that waiting room:) And I'm proud of you for walking in there like a warrior (and a smiling warrior who thumbed her nose at the solemnity of the waiting room no less...perhaps the toughest warrior to be!).

    Sounds like the doc wasn't too worried about the curve. I'm glad (though sorry that the sonohysterogram hurt). The soil is ready for some beautiful flowers to grow. (A terrible analogy, I know, but truly the one that is coming to me in this moment).

    And, thank you, Augusta, for your comments. They always cheer me up.

  11. Well at least you didn't speak loudly and conspicuously on your cell phone in the waiting room about things that no one but your doctor wants to know. And it might be debatable that doc want to know either!

    So glad to hear that Sattva's follicles are over achievers.

  12. Choosing an infertility clinic is one of the hardest decisions you will make in your pursuit of fertility. You do your research, you ask around, but it's so complicated to make a decision!

    Infertility Clinic